I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
we should paint friendship bongs
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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