He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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