We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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