I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
