The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
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You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
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The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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