like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
