i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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