you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
