just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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