Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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