if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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