Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
