Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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