Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
