So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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