they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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