Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
