It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize