i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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