I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize