so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
