If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
