And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
