I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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