You really coming over, don't trick.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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