Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
