Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Come on in and take your pants off
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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