Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Who wears a wallet chain?!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't deserve a penis
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
