you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
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You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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