yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
