it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think im going to throw up on grandma
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
