sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Buhtt sex?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
