you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
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