My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize