too bad you live with your parents still
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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