I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
