I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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