I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
True strength comes from lack of pants
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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