this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
