So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
