Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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