how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
