just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
