Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
