I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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