she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
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the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
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My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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