ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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