She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
