u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Randomize
