I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
