All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize