I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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