id be glad to
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I skipped work to stalk him.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
