i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
