I feel like I'm in dance class right now
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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